So, there is lore. Lore that no one talks about. Lore about your child's first birthday. Because I am neither a snitch, nor a ruiner, i will not ruin the lore. You must all have this experience for yourselves.
Sloane,
This year has been an education. We have watched you grow so fast. As I look at video from only a few months ago.. you are so different. You are more predictable now. You have a rhythm. You are becoming quite a little monkey. You have taken to pretending. It is facinating. Of late, your thing is to act like me on your "cell phone". You hold it to your ear and chatter like a squirrel. I think that if I loved you more, I would just throw up.
We took you for your year well check at the doctor. When they took two vials of blood from your very effective pointer finger, I nearly did throw up all over. You were pissed. i have never seen you so frantic or betrayed. I can still hear the tech say.. Dad, we will need you to hold her feet, and Mom, can you hold her arms and head? What the fuck? I think that kenny has the upper hand right now because of this and I don't like it.. not one bit.
stats
21.7 lbs.
29.5 inches long
head 14
four teeth
walking
hates birthday cake
says ma and da, bye bye
jesus christ, what's next?
1 comment:
Hated cake?!. Really? Wow, I've never heard of such a sad, sad thing.
She's walking now, too? Pew! She's way more advanced than many kids I know - way to go, Slaone! Now, quick! Go get daddy a beer from the fridge...
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